It's Not Realistic, But It's Real

by Harrison Watters

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released 18 March 2014

Photo creds to Lucy



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Track Name: I Am An Approximately Perfect Square
my bedsheets of ice
suggest that i might call it a night but i
cant shake this feeling
that the voices i hear are all out to get me
crank up the tunes
let them lift me like a hundred balloons until
i hit the ceiling
i hit the ceiling but its right where i want to be

cause they tempt me
and resent me when the lights dim down
we all need a good reason to shout and scream like we mean it
weve all got to mean it
Track Name: We're All Above Average
stoned in a parking lot
thinking about how everyone thinks im home
cause its midnight on a wednesday night and tomorrow ive got class
but still this hot orange ember approaches my lips slowly

watched through one way glass a hopeless young burnout
who cant get his shit straight yeah
thats me alright i accept that no real direction not quite yet
but when i brushed death my mind was completely blank

im on a sailboat and its just me so i can stay afloat
and the waters so still so still that it feels like home
and when the wind starts to pick up ill hoist up the anchor
set sail towards solid ground and get these sea legs back on shore

done with the guessing
and surgically picking my own brain with tools
that are antiques made out of wood that leaves splinters in my palms
im throwing my typewriter into the deep blue ocean

im on a sailboat and its just me so i can stay afloat
and the waters so still so still that it feels like home
and when the wind starts to pick up ill hoist up the anchor
set sail towards solid ground and get these sea legs back on shore
Track Name: That's Not Art, That's Just Annoying
oh im afraid again
oh why am i nervous when im trying to grow up to be a man
im smart and im capable well thats debatable
i am jealous
what a bitter emotion to feel towards my friends and my loved ones
oh this is pathetic just walk it off walk it off

im freaking out right by the campfire
dont mind me im just losing my mind

i am losing weight
but gaining awareness and caution since when have i been so sad
my brain is a ghost town my blood is all watered down
so i wonder
im wondering why im on my way to some party when im homesick
HAH more like bedsick
im everything sick
sick of everything everything

its just like the movies she said
my lifes not a movie and if it was almost no one would watch it
i once fell on a cactus when i was like five years old
a wise man once said everything has to do with everything
and it does
it does
Track Name: Treehouse Trees
dirtied my viens with a venomous love
it broke down from rock to pebbles powder and dust
cause nothing i do is ever really enough
i watched the words slip slide off your venomous tongue
you took off and left me all hopeful for more
my dry cracked lips reflect a dry desert floor
hoping a storm would pass through shower and pour
acid rain that burns to my core

built up a structure out in the woods
the progress was slow but the times were all good
slice through the membrane stumble and spill
and then let the cold air hold it all still
the windows were shattered and the power lines cut
but bring out the drinks yeah lets live it up
cause who really cares that were down on our luck
spun out and stressed but dont give a...

i see a treehouse in the yard where there aint even a tree
fuck my exceptionally vivid imagination
partially helpful but usually makes me sad
when its not making me happy
when its not making me happier

last i checked she was frozen of course
frozen in place in the glaciers up north
just killing time till she melts in the sun
the heat is too much for the frigid and numb
but sunlight fuels the leafy and green
the soil that wrecks what the chemicals made clean
breathing some life into concrete and steel
we are so alive we know how we feel
Track Name: Quite The Idle Walkabout (Pick Up The Phone)
its been three hours and im getting hungry
pick up the phone
outside my window the one in my basement
its getting cold

done filling my lungs with chalk dust and stale air
im coming home
decending down under to claw my way upward
my plates so full
grocery store isles sell me solutions
sell me control
its been some time now my stomachs so empty
pick up the phone
Track Name: The Great Indoors
im a product of environment a threat to my own health
and im getting pretty good at hiding from my own self
im learning quick that my judgements impaired
and that company is nice but i am my own home
i know it often takes seven feet of rope
but ill make sure to use eight so i can stand on my toes
i hesitate cause i think too fast
i always hire a professional to take the mental photographs
looking back after taking a second
my visions less cloudy altering my perception
but shit i cant tell if its worse or its better
i wont start the fire but i dont mind watching it burn

i said i want to start a riot yeah i want to let go
of all this tension in my muscles and these thoughts in my skull
i understand i should wait my turn
but my decisions are all conscious i have nothing left to learn
everyones always so damn sad
and im sick of solving problems that i wont ever have
i am empty so fill me up
with drugs and attention not with caring compassionate love
fuck that i like being alone
in a way ive spent a big part of my life on my own
yeah this car wont start and this phone wont ring
but i figure while im stranded ill enjoy the good things

just a product of environment living by myself
in a house full of people buying lies that i sell
i find it strange how somehow ive found
so much comfort in the fact that one day ill be under the ground
i feel disturbances within my soul
so i turn my shoe over and out the pebbles roll
were both mad yeah were both upset
if this continues ill just end up taking bongrips to my fuckin head
getting by with my limited know how
im living just to live cause thats just what i do now
but ever since the currents stopped flowing through these walls
the airs gotten thinner and so have my lungs
Track Name: Pizza & Wine
sometimes i wish that it was still winter
frozen fish sleep all in the deepest waters
ill sleep when im dead and this citys on fire
tired and hungry and anxious and free forever

a tall glass of lust and a slice of anger
lying on the ground as the leaves change color
i cant look away as her pupils get bigger
shamelessly alone thinking about myself

im going nowhere and i cant help but smile
the brain of an adult the heart of a child
with a roll of the eyes and a sarcastic comment
ill dig through the dirt not with a shovel but with my bare hands

my bear hands
Track Name: Fingerless Gloves
fingerless gloves lost between the bedsheets
shes cloaked in my conforter so memorably motionless
we sing silly songs about nothing and everything
not from my soul but made up in my head

dawn finally breaks and shatters the skyline
droplets on the leaves polarize fall in unity
shimmering shines of sunlight smile at the earth
yellow streaks soak into green into leaves
and occationally into me

i lost all my faith and my head
its hard to speak its hard to believe
with breathing so thin that i
allow my consciousness to step back

out of the spotlight and out of the foreground
spend some alone time with the better half of my mind
bring on the hate yeah bring on the love too
with and emphasis on the part about love

maybe ill leave build my own place out in the woods
gather up stones sticks seeds and some company
live off the land nothing more for a few odd years
return home with insight on what this all means
at least what it means to me
Track Name: Socks & Shoes
socks then shoes always in that order how sensible
my bones are creaking slightly but often
and nobody hears it but me and I just keep rambling
cause I write lyrics fast in succession
line after line of stupid teenage confessions
im sick of it

i see roads on maps and through the windshield
this car is upside down
queue the sharp and clear confetti celebrate cause were alive and well
but I hate hospitals the smell of chemicals and bleach
invade me and embrace me
taste me

and I cant talk myself down cause its difficult
a toaster in the bathtub a fork in the power socket
its shocking to say the least
from my short hair to my bare feet
its raining pretty hard outside
these flickering florescent lights are exhausting to listen to
i fantasize about dropping out of school
she'll try to leave but I wont let her and yeah your good but im much better
im sorry

tense tension
faces and memories
im going fishing
in a swimming pool theres a chance I wont catch anything
but that's alright
all right
Track Name: Hold Your Damn Horses
im coming down im coming down
hold your horses
weve got unfinished business
but thats not my fault
and just because we both speak the language
were not obliged to talk
thats when you said
"defying me will give you twelve years bad luck"

and god would that suck
confined to poor health shit friends and stress
never taking risks being safe
always in need of nutrients and vitamins

what kind of way is that to live not a good one
in fact quite the opposite the inverse indeed
and im not superstitious in the least
but ill tell you what
bad luck doesn't sound so great to me

ive got frustration like Sisyphus
i never quite achieve my goals
im not saying its unfair cause i
never give 110 percent 100's all ive got
maybe 90ish even

its getting warm its getting warm metaphorically
but literally its freezing outside
and i left my biggest and bestest coat

at home now here i am
confined to poor health and stress
never taking risks being safe
always in need of nutrients and vitamins

what kind of way is that to live not a good one
in fact quite the opposite the inverse indeed
and im not superstitious in the least
but ill tell you what
bad luck doesn't feel so great to me
Track Name: Separate Houses, Same Boat
so i walk
and i run my train of thought off the tracks now
thinking about how it all went down
and if itll bounce back up

i rock a t-shirt and dance until the suns out
filling up the cups and rolling out the carpet
and yeah its kinda cold but its heating up fast
cause my brain is writing checks that my heart cant cash
so i stop

and i lie right on my back in the sunlight
wait until it turns to moonlight
enjoy the brisk walk home
i see stars

and in the morning ill be cracking eggs
all up in that pan yeah ill cook us some breakfast
it might not be delicious but ill try my best
im just telling you now that you wont be impressed but

heyyeah yeah im headed downtown
i cant wait till spring
the days when it wont rain
when i come home for good

like a campfire in the forest in my brain
if its dry enough ill be driven insane
empathetic fires burn quick
this shit makes no sense

were building houses all along the coast
but weve delayed construction the tides are inconsistent
and yeah i might be manic but i feel fantastic
its a disease in my head so beautifully tragic but

yeah im headed downtown
i cant wait till spring
the days when it wont rain
when those who suffer from seasonal depression say

yeah im not coming down
i cant wait to break
the idle hearts i crave
when i leave home for good

so i walk
past all the wreckage on the train tracks
miles of twisted metal and white ash
riding the wind like snow
but i keep walking
Track Name: Potted Plants Grow Sad, Weak Roots
i am a disease
swimming like a fish through your bloodstream
but ive calmed down yeah ive calmed down
with this not so clean hardwood floor

creeping up
sneaking up

old songs old news
waiting for the police to show up
for something to go down
and we planted our feet in the dirt in the soil
sun feed me vitamins till i cant eat no more
and scream

woah woah
woah woah

im making a scene
slamming my fists into concrete
but im too frail yeah im too fragile
to be losing my shit but ill

toughen up
just loosen up

watching smoke dance with the air
underneath the four square spotlights
in the corner of the room
and i called out her name
i sung it with soul
in the sound proof room in my brain

woah woah
woah woah
woah woah
woah woah